At this time of year, we make resolutions and set goals.  The New Year is about hitting things that we have been putting off, or attacking things that we’ve wanted to do but just haven’t gotten to.  It’s often about tackling tasks that we feel we must because of external pressure from loved ones or society or even an inner nag.  By their very nature, goals require us to overcome some form of resistance.  Listen to the language we use!  Hitting, attacking, tackling… as if we are about to do combat with ourselves!

To me, the concept of setting goals feels like we are setting up for a fight.  A fight to do… to achieve… to overcome … to win. The very words we use to express goal setting sap our energy and are so daunting that we set ourselves up for failure even before we get started!

This New Year, I keep reflecting on the word surrender:  to relinquish control, or to yield to a strong force.  Instead of attacking goals for the New Year, how would it feel if we surrendered to what is true for us?  Surrender to the things that we value, that enrich us and nourish us….surrender to what allows us a true expression of self.  Take a look deep inside and decide what you really value.  If you surrender yourself to what it means to live into that deeply held value, how might that guide your actions?  For example, if you want to lose weight, what value does that support…. Is it about being healthy?  Is it about self-care?  Is it about being there for your family?  What is that really about for YOU?  Take a few deep breaths and tune into what really matters to you.  Let go of the need to do for a few moments and just be.  Let go of the struggle, surrender, and fall into yourself.   Who is peeking back at you?  What matters enough to light a spark inside you?

In this New Year, I want to find ways to express and celebrate who I really am. I’m letting go of my “shoulds.” I’m giving up the struggle.  I’m foregoing the swirl of activity around me in favor on focusing on what matters.  Is that different from a resolution?  It’s all in your perspective, I suppose. But I would much prefer that January not be a month-long fight with myself.

How would surrendering to what you value most change your thinking about New Year’s resolutions? How much more likely are you to stay the course?  How would you feel in six weeks if, instead of doing battle and perhaps losing, you let go and experience the peace of inner conviction?